Tuesday, September 11, 2012


"Striving for something better? well, what is better?!". The thought hit her so hard. Her constant introspection bombarded lots of questions on her. "Why is it so hard to find rationality in men", she thought. "Why rationality at all?", wondered a moment later. She constantly neutralized her questions, put to herself, without any intention of doing so. The solitary travel was playing her mind. She couldn't rest a second, even if she wanted to. Being clueless about the destination of her travel, she was determined, she cuts loose of all the ends clinging her. The emptiness in the train she travels was reflecting in her mind. A 'why?' was followed by a 'why should be a why?'. That never ending paradox was exhausting her. Whilst trying to ponder upon the contradictions entangling her, she observes a laziness lingering around, out of nowhere, only to drop all the thoughts and doze off. But, to her dismay, observation of her laziness pushed her into a new array of paradoxical questions. She felt an urge to not let go of her hunger, in an attempt to focus deep on her thoughts and intensify it. Upon consciously observing that sub-conscious action, which she performs automatically due to an inner setup she did to herself, she saw herself as a creature falling prey for a legend. That exhausted her to a whole new level and she slowly faded away from that thought, buying food with a numb mind. Staring profoundly outside the window whilst eating, she serenely observed the motion pattern of the street lights glowing in dark and configuring an ambiance to suit her melancholy. She would soon realize, her covered up consciousness was deliberately weaving that setup, only to subtly describe the vagueness she was battling. When realized, she felt a pin-prick to her intelligence upon discovering the cheapness of the subtlety, which led her raise a question, "Isn't cliched subtlety becoming cheap or is it just that I am too subtle to grasp it?". The pride she took was debunked by her very realization, followed by another pride. But she was well aware that the debunking is to be continued. She felt like standing in between two parallel mirrors. Never ending images. All she could gather was an understanding she had on her piled up thoughts. Her eternal contemplation slowly drowned her into slumber, leaning on the window and continuing her journey in the abyss, but in dreams this time. She was very fortunate that the street lights were still faithful in preserving the ambiance without her monitoring...